Conflicts are a part of all relationships, be it romantic, familial or friendships. Conflicts are defined as verbal disagreements and arguments. People may disagree sometimes, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. You have the right to have a different opinion from the other person. Even though conflicts and disagreements might feel scary and challenging, they also give us an opportunity to grow and be responsible. The manner in which you deal with an issue with someone you are close to can determine if your relationship with them is healthy or unhealthy. This article outlines some strategies for healthy conflict resolution, such that you are able to understand each other better and make your relationship stronger.
1. Active listening: Active listening involves attentively and genuinely listening to the speaker, perceiving and comprehending their point of view, contemplating and analyzing it, and then offering an appropriate response. In times of conflict, humans often have a tendency to listen solely for the purpose of responding. However, this behaviour may hinder the development of a healthy connection and cause the individual you are conversing with to feel ignored. Active listening improves workplace dynamics by fostering a collaborative environment and reducing misunderstandings (Mayer et al., 2016) by facilitating mutual understanding and promoting efficient and constructive resolution of conflicts. It is particularly beneficial for leaders, as it demonstrates patience and respect, crucial traits for effective leadership.
2. Proper communication: We are all aware of the value of communication, but, what holds even greater importance is the manner in which you convey yourself to others. It is essential to understand that using aggressive or demeaning language does not equate to effective communication. While experiencing emotional pain, it is beneficial to refrain from using a tone that assigns blame when engaging in communication. Instead of using sentences that begin with "you...", try to use sentences that begin with "I...". For instance, the phrase "You never..." can be expressed as "I feel hurt when...". This method facilitates the other individual's concentration on the consequences of their actions, rather than provoking a defensive response (Shellenbarger et al., 2016).
3. Building and respecting boundaries: It is crucial to establish explicit boundaries for how you expect to be treated as an individual during a conflict. Boundaries can create a sense of security, which in turn reduces anxiety, which is essential for maintaining mental health especially in work environments (Eaton et al., 2020). Exercising restraint and maintaining decorum helps in preventing the situation from worsening and retains a sense of respect. It is also important to also adhere to the boundaries established by others when dealing with a conflict as anger often overwhelms us, and it is crucial that we refrain from making personal attacks and uttering words that we do not genuinely mean. For example, “I will not engage in this discussion further if you keep yelling at me” is a good boundary to set with the other party. By establishing and maintaining boundaries, individuals often experience improved work-life balance and reduced stress levels. This approach not only helps in managing immediate stress but also contributes to long-term mental well-being
4. Compromise: Prioritize understanding over winning in disagreements by focusing on comprehending the other person's perspective and underlying concerns rather than asserting correctness. This approach includes elements such as active listening, respecting boundaries, effective communication, and taking responsibility for one's actions. By fostering mutual understanding and empathy, both parties feel valued and acknowledged. Compromise plays a crucial role in healthy relationships, ensuring that both parties collaborate willingly and contribute to maintaining balance. In the workplace, compromise is vital for fostering harmony and achieving collective goals. According to the Society for Human Resource Management, 64% of survey respondents prefer compromising over perpetuating conflicts, highlighting its effectiveness in promoting a collaborative work environment. Similarly, another study by the Niagara Institute found compromise to be the second most popular conflict management style, chosen by 24.4% of participants, underscoring its effectiveness when both parties are open to making concessions to resolve conflicts efficiently.
Conclusion
Conflict resolution is about more than just arriving at a solution. Healthy conflict resolution helps in maintaining long term relationships and facilitates the growth of the individual at the same time.
From communication to boundaries, our podcast, Nuts & Bolts of Wellbeing, tackles the essentials of healthy relationships (episodes 10, 11, and 12). Listen in!
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